|Responsibilities are shared between both partners.
||Responsibilities are not equally distributed.
||One partner has all the responsibilities but no authority.
|Your partner is supportive of your relationships with family and friends.
||Your partner is reluctant to let you have a relationship with your family and friends.
||One partner does not allow the other to maintain close relationships with family and friends.
|The relationship is based on equal power and commitment.
||One or both partners feel unheard or poorly treated.
||One partner uses a systematic pattern of behavior to control and exercise power over the other.
|Both partners exhibit honest and accountable behavior.
||One or both partners uses secrets/lies to hide their behaviors.
||One partner will not take responsibility for their own behavior and blames the other for their actions.
|Problem solving is done through communication and fair negotiation.
||Partners are unable to negotiate to solve problems.
||Problems are solved using threats and coercion.
|Partners respect each others beliefs and values.
||Partners disagree about their different or conflicting values and beliefs often.
||One partner is disrespectful of and criticizes the others values and beliefs.
|Conflicts are communicated and lead to mutually acceptable resolution.
||Bickering occurs, conflict remains unresolved and is continually brought back up.
||Conflict is "resolved" by one partner deciding the solution, usually in a demeaning way.
||Mutual disagreements over finances.
||One partner controls all economic decisions and resources.
|Parenting responsibilities are shared between both partners.
||Parenting roles and responsibilities are difficult to determine.
||One partner uses the children as a weapon against the other.
|Both partners openly trust and support one another.
||Lack of trust between partners.
||One partner regularly distorts the truth.
|Both partners exhibit mutual respect and acceptance of each other.
||Partners blame each other for relationship problems.
||One partner uses criticism and humiliation to reinforce the other partners shame and guilt.
|Partners are understanding and supportive of each other.
||Partners are indifferent to each other’s feelings.
||One partner withholds approval or affection.