|Responsibilities are shared between both partners.
|Responsibilities are not equally distributed.
|One partner has all the responsibilities but no authority.
|Your partner is supportive of your relationships with family and friends.
|Your partner is reluctant to let you have a relationship with your family and friends.
|One partner does not allow the other to maintain close relationships with family and friends.
|The relationship is based on equal power and commitment.
|One or both partners feel unheard or poorly treated.
|One partner uses a systematic pattern of behavior to control and exercise power over the other.
|Both partners exhibit honest and accountable behavior.
|One or both partners uses secrets/lies to hide their behaviors.
|One partner will not take responsibility for their own behavior and blames the other for their actions.
|Problem solving is done through communication and fair negotiation.
|Partners are unable to negotiate to solve problems.
|Problems are solved using threats and coercion.
|Partners respect each others beliefs and values.
|Partners disagree about their different or conflicting values and beliefs often.
|One partner is disrespectful of and criticizes the others values and beliefs.
|Conflicts are communicated and lead to mutually acceptable resolution.
|Bickering occurs, conflict remains unresolved and is continually brought back up.
|Conflict is "resolved" by one partner deciding the solution, usually in a demeaning way.
|Mutual disagreements over finances.
|One partner controls all economic decisions and resources.
|Parenting responsibilities are shared between both partners.
|Parenting roles and responsibilities are difficult to determine.
|One partner uses the children as a weapon against the other.
|Both partners openly trust and support one another.
|Lack of trust between partners.
|One partner regularly distorts the truth.
|Both partners exhibit mutual respect and acceptance of each other.
|Partners blame each other for relationship problems.
|One partner uses criticism and humiliation to reinforce the other partners shame and guilt.
|Partners are understanding and supportive of each other.
|Partners are indifferent to each other’s feelings.
|One partner withholds approval or affection.